I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize