I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
