scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
