Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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