he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize