butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
