So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
