"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
