he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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