I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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