I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
