just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
