There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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