I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
