Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
