just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My life is pants optional.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
