try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize