I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
