i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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