Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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