my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
