you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
