Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
