let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
