somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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