we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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