I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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