Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I love having hate sex.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
