He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize