I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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