the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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