Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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