I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
