Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
