Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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