You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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