please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
