I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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