I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
