Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
