jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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