The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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