You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
