we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
