ugly people sure do ruin things
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
