Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
