yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
