Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
