spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
