I love black thongs
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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