After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
