apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
