I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize