if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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