hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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