Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
