i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She needs sedatives and a leash
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You've changed since you got that strap on
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
