Don't you send me to vm
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
