im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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