remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
