dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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