No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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