apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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