just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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