He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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